Insanity and Death Lived Down The Street…

Image via Pat Greenhouse/ Boston Globe Staff

Some news links to go along with my blog post… 

• http://boston.cbslocal.com/2014/09/15/medical-examiner-to-determine-how-blackstone-infants-died/
• http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/09/14/clean-crew-removing-debris-from-home-blackstone-finds-two-more-dead-animals/Rlti2fApL84Q65q8FDLNvO/story.html
• http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/local_coverage/herald_bulldog/2014/09/blackstone_chief_dead_baby_case_beyond
• http://boston.cbslocal.com/2014/09/16/blackstone-home-cleanup-coming-to-an-end-mother-in-prison-treatment-center/
• http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/09/17/determining-cause-death-for-blackstone-infants-difficult-task/lPRSTYqV5aqG1afdw0i3UJ/picture.html

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About a quarter of a mile down the street from where I’m living now is where the above news links took place.  My mom called the day after the story broke on the news… “Does your street run into Blackstone?”, she asked.  “Yes, Mom.”

We knew something was up the day before the story hit.  Chris came home stating that something BIG was going on down at the end of the street.  He comes home from work that way, and said the street was blocked off, cops everywhere and all traffic was re-routed via a detour.  The next day, we would discover just what that BIG thing was.

The days have passed, and it has almost been a week now of a flood of news crews, press conferences and people passing by to stop and stare at the house.  When I drive by, even I get an eerie feeling looking at the house… thinking about what it was like living inside that mini house of horrors for those kids.  (It’s a small house.)  The house has been fenced in, and there is now a little memorial of flowers, candles and stuffed animals set up outside the fence for the babies (and animals) that passed away inside… now that we all know they were once alive.

For the life of me, I can’t imagine what it must have been like for a child growing up in that type of environment.  To be found covered in feces and maggots. The horror that the woman who stepped into the house must have felt the moment she walked in and smelled what she smelled and saw what she saw.  God, I can’t imagine the awful smell of death that must have consumed the home.

How did the older kids that lived there feel?  Did they have any friends at school?  How disconnected they must have felt from them. How sad!!!  What is it going to be like for these kids growing up, carrying such memories with them or knowing what their history is and where they came from?  When a human being is deeply wounded as a child… they have to carry the pain, hurt and anger of those scars for their entire LIFE.

I’ve heard it said that your home mirrors the inside of you.  The environment inside your home mirrors the emotional environment inside of you. What you see on the outside, often dwells on the inside.  As above, so below.  As without, so within. Everything mirrors our lives.  Just like any dream therapist that works with people’s dreams will tell you that when you dream of a house… it is usually YOU that you are dreaming about.  The house represents you, and what goes on inside and outside the house is often a mirror reflection of what’s going on inside and outside of you. Let’s take hoarders for instance, they hold on to so much “stuff” because there is so much “stuff” that’s going on on the inside of them (emotionally) that they have never let go of… and are probably not willing to let go either.

As a mother, I can’t for the life of me understand how a mother could allow her babies to live in such deplorable conditions. To give birth to three children and just let them die and LEAVE them on the floor, buried in garbage.  To leave your baby for the day crying in feces and maggots.  Who does that?  Where was her mind?  How did the mother grow up that she would do something like this?  Why did the extended family not know any of this was going on?  Did no one ever visit them?  What about friends?  Where were the grandparents?  Why did the sister who owned the house not question things?  Is the family shattered and broken so badly that no one spoke or visited one another?  Is our country or our world this fucked up???

So many HOW’s and WHY’s!!!  It boggles the mind….

It has been said that our souls have contracts before we come here.  That our souls know exactly what we are being born into and the lessons that are carried along with the birth of our lives and the lessons that will also touch the lives of many others. Some hypothesize that maybe it’s the wheel of Karma.  What was once maybe done to one… must now be done to other who did it in another past lifetime?

Life seems to be so chuck FULL of questions like these… and we can’t help but wonder…. why, why, WHY???  “God has a plan” … they say.  He knows why, just have faith.  Okay.  But does that mean this is some sort of higher-power game that is being played? Are we just pawns in this master game of chess between the consciousness of Good and Bad… Holy and Evil… Positive and Negative?  The big question marks loom… ???

Human Beings always want to understand the how’s and why’s of what goes on in the lives of others. But I don’t think we will ever figure out the mysteries, and maybe it is just none of our damn business.  Maybe there are karmic lessons between souls that go back hundreds of thousands… if not millions… of years.  Maybe it will always be a giant question mark?  Maybe we just have to accept the unacceptable?  Maybe we just need to remember that the only thing we can control is our own thoughts, actions and re-actions?   Keep ourselves in a state of constantly reminding ourselves to keep our mind’s consciousness and thoughts rooted in love, light and the POSITIVE side of life to the best of our ability (which I know is not always easy).

Sometimes I wonder…. can or will the demons of mankind or the INSANITY OF HUMANITY get any worse?   (That’s an online book, but the way… free for anyone to read…   http://www.theinsanityofhumanity.com/.)

The Second Coming of Christ…

My newest Drop Card creation.

Since I was a child… being brought up in the light of religion… our church leaders always spoke of “The Second Coming of Christ”.  We were taught in church that Christ would come down from the clouds on a flying white horse followed by an army of Angels. It wasn’t until years later that I truly understood what this “Second Coming” meant.

A set of books happened to cross my path that shed light on what the true meaning of this really meant.  The books are called “The Second Coming of Christ,,, The Resurrection of the Christ Within You“.    Finally, I understood what it really meant.  No, not some fairy tale of flying horses coming out of the clouds.  (I mean, really???  Has anyone seen flying horses???)  But something a bit more realistic… that went along with the Laws of Nature.

The Second Coming of Christ is Christ-Consciousness rising and shining within and through you! What’s Christ-Consciousness?  It about being totally conscious of what is right and what is wrong.  It’s about being conscious of your actions and the light & love you share or withhold.  It’s about self-realization.  It’s about recognizing your own fears and the why’s behind them.  I spent so many years ignoring or not listening to the LIGHT (that still voice of consciousness inside), and often found myself withholding the LOVE within myself (that I could have shared) due to the voice of ego in my own head.  I didn’t want to look weak… and I hit wall after wall of failure because I was thinking all wrong.

Eventually the wheel of Karma comes along and catches up with you and slaps you REAL HARD. (By the way, Karma is REAL and is only a BITCH if you are!  Trust me… I know… I’ve been a bitch in my lifetime.)  I recently read somewhere that failure is your true friend.  And now I understand why.  Success can build arrogance, ego, pride and greed.  I think I needed to learn lots and lots of failure before I could ever taste success… because I would need to watch out for MY OWN arrogance, ego, pride and greed.  I’ve already had a taste and felt how having a little too much can create a monster within, if you allow it.

Failure though… failure builds humilty, self-examination and self-realization.  It builds you up on the inside and creates new possibilties.  With failure, you never lose… you simply LEARN.  In helps you to truly appreciate what’s important in life… instead of being spoiled with what’s not important. Failure brings you to gratitude, true appreciation and a closer connection to that part of God within you. Failure can be your very best friend if you are willing to listen. Listening is something I have struggled with for a very long time.  I’ve gone through a lot of pain and suffering in my life because I didn’t LISTEN.  I didn’t heed the warning signs and the tugs of “Uh-Oh… you better not do that” within myself.

Allow Christ-Consciousness to rise and shine within you.  WE are the Second Coming of Christ.  We are waiting for our selves to stop allowing fear to rule over us… and simply RETURN TO LOVE.  It’s coming… can’t you feel it?  The sooner we allow it and let it flow within & without… the sooner our world with begin to balance and correct itself.

Testing A New Process

Hi Everyone… I’m just testing out a new process for my blog.  Please ignore and bear with me… 🙂

Thank you!

A Time To Heal

The last few months of my life have been like a tornado.  I mean, I know Mars is retrograde for a while… but DAMN!!!  It has hit me HARD like a freight train!  My life has totally changed… in what seems like, “the blink of an eye”.

In just nine months, since August of 2013:

• I’m getting divorced from my husband of nine years (together 12)
• I’ve moved from the southern part of the state, to the northern part of the state
• I found a new job… only to get laid off a few months later
• I went from having everything… to having barely nothing
• And now, I’m sitting in my new home surroundings after having foot surgery… pondering my life and the hows, whats and whys of all that has happened in these short few months.